Funny things Insurance customer say

Funny but true things insurance customers say

Just like any industry you'll find funny, but true things customers will ask or say.  

We put together a "short" list of some customer comments compiled from agents and brokers around the US.  Funny questions and responses insurance customers say, enjoy.

P.s. in no way are we making fun of anyone and all identities are kept confidential.

Funny Auto Insurance Questions

“Why is my premium higher for this 2021 GMC Sierra vs 2002 Ford F-150??? I know I added full coverage and it’s a newer car- but it’s safer!!!

I drive my car half as much now so my premium should go down by half...

I paid for my speeding ticket, why do I have to pay you guys too?!?!

I was an insurance agent for 10 years. Why is my rate so high?"

Client: I want comp and collision on my 1989 Dodge Spirit.

Me: OK.

Client: I want both deductibles at $1500

my rate went up $.08. I’m going to look for insurance elsewhere.

I need insurance right now, I am getting pulled over!

My friend has the exact same car and pays much less.

My neighbor is only paying XXX

“08 F150, full coverage. How much will that be?”

"it's your fault as my agent that my policy has been canceled for non-pay for 6 months! You never sent me a cancel bill. How was I supposed to know!"

2 days after the automatically withdrawn payment has happened... “I work with ACH systems, I know that you can stop the payment if you want to!” Me: Yes, BEFORE the payment is actually processed.

I know I refused rental replacement last time we spoke but I had an accident yesterday add it to the policy today

Why do you need my information to give me a quote?

 Client: Give me the price per car

ME: Sure... gives client vehicle prices

Client: I pay $157/month for my Altima and now you tell me it's $158/month? I want you to requote me!

My attorney told me to remove auto pay because you'll take liberties with my account!

Someone told me they heard they could get a discount for having kids under 5

Customer: I just got a bunch of mail and don't know what it says!!!

Me: Can you read it to me or send me a picture

Him: how? I haven't opened it

“My AC in my car went out, my comprehensive coverage will cover that, right?”

C- hey, how much is the blue car?

Me- good (morning/afternoon) what exactly are you asking?

C- how much I pay for the blue car

Me- need a little more information

C- (angry) look man just tell me what I pay for the blue car!

Me- Sir first who is this and second which car is blue?

"I just paid off my car, does removing my lienholder make my rates go down?"

“I need the title to my car. Can you get it for me”

I don’t have insurance, but I had an accident yesterday, can you send me a quote so I can be covered?

My next-door neighbor has you guys also & pays way less than me! Why am I not paying the same as he is?

“You’re saving me $2,000 a year on my auto insurance? This looks great let me get back to you tomorrow. Thanks for the quotes and your help but we’ve decided to stay with our current carrier.”

“Well I talked to my friends and they are paying $60 a month for full coverage. Why can’t I pay that?” *has three at-fault accidents and two speeding tickets*

Can I take a class or something for an excessive speeding ticket from a year or 2 ago?

Customer: That accident should not be on my record. Nothing ever happened to his car! Me: sir the claim paid out for bodily injuries. Customer: But there was nothing damaged on his car!

"Didn't the state tell you when I bought my new car?"

Me; "That will be $212 quarterly" Client; "okay......will that be every 3 months or 4 months...."

Client: adds vehicle...calls back 3 weeks later...Client: is there anything we can do to get my rate down, it went up $12 a month, and can't afford it...Agent - Sir, you replaced your 2009 Honda with a 2021 Tesla

“What does credit have to do with my insurance rates”

Client: I am 80 years old and I ain't never been in no car crash or anything. Why did my amount go up?

Me: Hmmm, well there was the accident at the car dealership a couple of months ago. Remember? When you hit those two brand new parked cars?

Client: Well, I feel like that wasn't my fault. It was my cars fault because I didn't know that I had it in reverse.

Me: “And if we need to replace your windshield, it’s a $100 deductible.”

Client: “That’s great! Because I have a huge crack in my windshield now! When can we start?”

How much will it be for 6 hours of coverage

“So, you say the premium is $1,320 or $ 1,112 if I pay in full, what’s the difference?”

Me: Sir, the amount due to start the policy today is $150.89

Him: I only have $100. Can't you just take that?

I slid on icy roads and crashed my car. That’s No-Fault so why am I being surcharged?

Why did my rate go up? Ma’am, it decreased by $2 each month.

Me: Which one of your 5 trucks are you wanting to remove?

Client: The white one

Oh...I didn't know you would need all of our driver's license numbers!

"But...I didn't pay because I didn't get a bill! THAT'S why I canceled!!!"

"Um...sir? Did you get the 237.00 refund check your company sent you because it canceled?"


"So you got the check that was sent to you...but you didn't get a bill?"

"No...I never get a bill..."

"Did you call us to see why you got this check?"

"No...why should I have called you?"

"I want FULL coverage!"

"Do you want rental car coverage in case you are ever in an accident?

"Does it cost extra?"


"No...the cheapest you have!"

"How about towing?"

"How much is cheapest bare minimum."

"Okay...sign here!"

***Months later after an accident...***

"I need to get me a rental car!"

"You don't have rental car coverage. You said you didn't want it because it cost extra."


"I have your signature right he..."

"OH hell no you don't! I didn't know what I was signing! You just told me to sign here and here! I HAVE FULL COVERAGE!"

"You don't because you said..."

"I said no such thing!"

"You did thou..."

"Oh...and I need my car towed too..."

" don't have..."


*blink.......blink blink*

75-year-old every month when he paid his bill, for three years... "I had never stopped at that stop sign before and there has never anyone there, so the accident's not my fault."

Why isn’t my flat tire covered?

Why does the Insurance company care if I got a speeding ticket and a DWI?

I know I paid my bill late but you should have been more thorough and told me the policy would cancel.

“Why are you asking so many questions, I just want a quote!

“Why is my driver's license number important?

Can you put the red car on suspend, I'm driving the blue one now.

Why do you charge poor people more?

Maybe it’s the four tickets and three your Mitsubishi Eclipse

CUSTOMER: how fast can you get me auto insurance?

ME: If you have all of your information in as little as 15 mins.

CUSTOMER: (laughing) I don't think that's going to be fast enough.

ME: Why???

CUSTOMER: cause a cop is pulling me over and I don't have insurance.

“I can’t afford the insurance this month,” said single operator with 3 - 2020 luxury vehicles.

Funny Life Insurance Questions And Comments

I don’t need life insurance. My wife can go to work when I croak.

Can you write life insurance on my monkey?

Client: “I don’t want to get life insurance because I don’t want my wife to remarry.”

Me: “Then get the life policy so she isn’t left so destitute she has to marry the first guy she meets.”

Client: “Oh...I didn’t think of that.”

We're dropping our new life policies.

Oh no, why? Is everything ok?

Yes, my wife wants to go with the company that Alex Trebek works at. Oh. Ok? Colonial Penn?

Yep, I think that's it.

Ok, so did they have a cheaper rate? I just want to put it in my report.

Nope, actually about 30 bucks more a month. MY WIFE REALLY LOVES HIS SHOW, SO WE'RE GONNA GO WITH HIM.

Can we get that life insurance policy you mentioned a few months ago started today?

Me: We can start working on, but it won't be effective today. What made you want to start it today?

Customer: We're in the emergency room right now. My husband is having a heart attack.

Funny Home Insurance Questions

“What do I pay home insurance for, if it will not cover having my home tented for termites?”

The guy from ADT said I would get a nice discount for the new alarm system I purchased from them. Me: $2 is nice

“I’m not in a flood zone” "in the 20 years I've lived here my house has never flooded"

I know my shingles are curling and some are damaged, but it is not leaking. Why should I replace it?

My mortgage lender said my insurance would cost a lot less for this home. 

My neighbor has his insurance with you too and his is much lower than mine and my house is smaller!

Insurance is a scam! It's all a gimmick! I shouldn't be made to pay for insurance! 1 week later, my house burned down I need my check for 350,000 right now.

I have a 30-year shingles, what do you mean it's depreciated after 15 years?

I need the binder to state this is 100% replacement cost and the insurance needs to cover the loan amount.

“My bank told me the home only had to be insured for the amount of the loan”

“Thank You so much for this quote. A lot of places wouldn’t quote me because my insurance lapsed. My roof has a huge hole in it and I need the insurance to fix it”

“Can you please change my mailing address?”, sure Mr. client, will this also be your location address? “I don’t know what mean by location, it’s the mailing address.”  

Me client, is this mailing address also where you live/work?

“Yes, it’s my mailing address.”

Thank you, Mr. client, in that case, we need to update your policy for both the mailing and location address. Underwriting will need a few pieces of information to update your policy.

“I don’t see why my new mailing address has any effect on my policy.”

Since you have moved locations, we need to properly insure the new property.

“You’re asking a lot of difficult questions. What’s the difference between my mailing address and location address. I moved to a new house. Can’t my insurance be updated to the mailing address?”

Insured: with as much money as I have paid “you people” (side note: use of this term is always the cue that things have gone terribly sideways) you would think you would just cover any issue I need fixing.

Why is my house insured for more than I paid for it??

I don’t own that house anymore.... it should have canceled automatically when I sold it last year.

No no no, I don't need to review anything on my policy. 30 years ago when ‘old Bill Pickaname sold me this policy, he said it was all done and I didn't need to do anything ever again......

Why is my rate so high?

Based on what I’m seeing with other carriers, you are actually paying a really great rate. Especially given your claim history.

All those claims are old.

I am seeing 2 claims in the last 3 years.


My friend has home insurance with you, and she only pays $1200 a year. Why is my rate $600 more?

Does my dog count as a security device discount?

Client: "Everything looks good on the quote. I'm ready to sign!"

Me: Sends application for electronic signature.

Client: "My phone number, address, name, VIN, birth date, sex, is all wrong."

I need you to guarantee that my bank will pay my flood insurance renewal.

“How dare the insurance company cancel me because of exposure in the area. I’ve never been naked outside.”

Prospect: “What do you mean you can’t write me because of my dog? He’s never attacked, anybody.”

Agent: I know, as the dog is currently biting her ankle at that very moment: “

“I’ve paid for this service for 30 years and never used it. Now that my roof is old and it’s time for me to get a new one, you tell me you won’t pay for it? Well, I want a refund for all those years I paid in!” Sir. This isn’t a savings account.

“Why did my rate go up? This is such a scam!”

“Ma’am, we have paid out over $70k in claims for you in the last 5 years. You would need to pay that $1000 premium for 70 years before the company was in the black with your account.”

Customer: why did the premium on my house go up?

Me: the policy premium increased because the coverage on your house increased.

Customer: but I don't want more coverage on my house.

Me: it's to protect you in the case of a total loss. We want to make sure you are completely covered.

Customer: but I've never had a claim. If it hasn't happened yet, why do you think it's going to happen now. I'm not going to pay for something that's never happened.

If you can’t find me better rates (only paying $200/yr for her tiny home and $700/yr for her vehicle) why do I keep getting emails from credit companies telling me I’m paying too much!??

“My tree is dying and needs to be removed before it falls on my house. You’d think the insurance company would pay to take it down so they don’t pay a larger claim on my house”

Trust Us...we can't make this stuff up.

About the Author

John Espenschied is a long-time veteran of the insurance industry. He has worked in various positions within the industry for over 20 years, and for the past 15 years, he has been the owner and operator of Insurance Brokers Group, an independent insurance agency. John loves advising people on the insurance that meets their needs and goals, whether it be for personal or commercial purposes.

John is married to Melissa, and they have three children together, as well as three grandchildren. In his spare time, John enjoys golfing and playing in the golf league, biking to their local brewery along the Missouri river, and going on motorcycle rides when the weather is nice.

John Espenschied

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